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[[ Read E-pub ]] õ Halfway to the Grave à Flirting With The Grave Half vampire Catherine Crawfield is going after the undead with a vengeance, hoping that one of these deadbeats is her father the one responsible for ruining her mother s life Then she s captured by Bones, a vampire bounty hunter, and is forced into an unlikely partnershipIn exchange for help finding her father, Cat agrees to train with the sexy night stalker until her battle reflexes are as sharp as his fangs She s amazed she doesn t end up as his dinner are there actually good vampires Pretty soon Bones will have her convinced that being half dead doesn t have to be all bad But before she can enjoy her status as kick ass demon hunter, Cat and Bones are pursued by a group of killers Now Cat will have to choose a side and Bones is turning out to be as tempting as any man with a heartbeat Telecommunication Systems hoping that one of these deadbeats is her father the one responsible for ruining her mother s life Then she s captured by Bones The Poams a vampire bounty hunter Archetypes of Thought and is forced into an unlikely partnershipIn exchange for help finding her father Virgin Exotica Cat agrees to train with the sexy night stalker until her battle reflexes are as sharp as his fangs She s amazed she doesn t end up as his dinner are there actually good vampires Pretty soon Bones will have her convinced that being half dead doesn t have to be all bad But before she can enjoy her status as kick ass demon hunter Verbotene Mission (Kings & Fools Cat and Bones are pursued by a group of killers Now Cat will have to choose a side and Bones is turning out to be as tempting as any man with a heartbeat I m.Conflicted I ve been pondering for far too long regarding this book and how I feel about it In the beginning, I dug it I mean, I dug it Right I did I mean, yeah, the writing is shallow and quick, the characters are just shoved in your face and then taken away at the author s whim, but the dialogue and action are engaging, and it keeps you reading That s good, right Turns out, not always Like road trips They re awesome until someone blindfolds you and directs you right off I m.Conflicted I ve been pondering for far too long regarding this book and how I feel about it In the beginning, I dug it I mean, I dug it Right I did I mean, yeah, the writing is shallow and quick, the characters are just shoved in your face and then taken away at the author s whim, but the dialogue and action are engaging, and it keeps you reading That s good, right Turns out, not always Like road trips They re awesome until someone blindfolds you and directs you right off a cliff That s what I feel like this author did to me gleefully drove me over a cliff And I m dead, right I m lying on the ground, my body is broken, my life force soul, cosmic parasite, whatever you want to call it has left my earthly vessel, but my conscious self is still functioning and I m pondering how to react to this turn of events What s most startling is that, up until about 3 4 of the way in, I had planned on giving this book three or four stars The endingthat was the cliff I guess I should explain Oh yes, there will be spoilers.Now if you ve read the synopsis, you know this is the story of Cat, a half human half vampire outcast with an emotionally distant, prejudiced mother, no friends, and a hate hard on for all vampires since her biological father was oneand raped her mom OK, admittedly it started off on shaky ground, but the humor was good enough to force my hand into giving it a pass Eventually Cat meets Bones, a bounty hunting hitman vampire who nearly kills her, and the two of them team up to take down bad vamps See, Cat is convinced all vampires are bad, but Bones helps show her the light Cause he s all chivalrous and moral and shit I dig Bones as a character aside from his ludicrous, giggle inducing nickname because he s a vamp who isn t cartoonishly villainous, but neither is he the self loathing emo type like Edward some other literary vampires Basically, think of Spike in the 6th and 7th seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer And Cat is what would happen if you took Buffy, Faith, and Sooki Stackhouse and smooshed em together So we have our premise and we have our characters, and we re ready to move on Good sexual tension check.Zany, vampire killing adventures check A crime syndicate with one or two big bads to take out check.Good banter between hero and heroine check An awesome bloodbath at the end checkA heroine who can take care of herself check Sounds like this book has it all, right Well, it does Including a propensity for the heroine to occasionally act like a complete and total idiot Why does this always happen to me Why Why can t I ever read about a female protagonist who is kick ass and consistently smart No, what always happens is that they re either chronically stupid the entire time or they show promise only to fall apart at the weirdest times In the case of Cat, her great moment of Derp arrives towards the end She d acted dumb on occasion before then, but the one that really floored me was at the end After taking out the big crime syndicate, Cat and Bones are separated and she ends up in the hospital, recovering A couple of FBI guys show up think MIB meets X Files and manipulate her into working for the government They use her mom and Bones as leverage to get her to agree to this, and she understandably doesn t trust them and is pretty pissed off, but she feels she can do nothing but agree Let s forget for a moment that I would never in a million years take that deal seriously, if my mom were a prejudiced bitch like hers, I d dump her ass somewhere and never look back , the important thing is that Cat thinks it s the only way to keep her mother and Bones safe, so she agrees Never mind the fact that making those kinds of decisions for other people is supremely arrogant and self centered.I m getting off track Anyway, the reader has had it drilled into his her head from the beginning of this story that Cat doesn t trust easily She doesn t even seem to trust her mother Keep that in mind When Bones first started training Cat, he let her in on all sorts of vampire secrets, including the fact that vampire blood heals So at the end, Cat is still all hopped up on Bones blood, she knows these secrets, she s cavorting with bureau men she doesn t trust both of whom are as prejudiced against vampires as her mother and want them all dead , and what does she do She tells them that vampire blood heals It was at that moment that I pinched the bridge of my nose and was like HmmmmI can t think of anything bad the bureau could possibly do with that information.can you Now I think I have to keep reading because if there isn t a scene in any of the later books where Cat stumbles upon the FBI s secret vampire milking room, I might die of shock I remember someone explaining, chemically, how a cheese burger works How the fatty meat combined with the fatty cheese and the white buns make a cholesterol parade in your blood stream that gives you endorphins that make you happy when you eat it Something about that combination, seems to give our bodies a buzz They were explaining that THAT S why cheeseburgers and Mcdonald s in particular are so damn popular They re addictive foods because we get addicted to the buzz of eating them.When it I remember someone explaining, chemically, how a cheese burger works How the fatty meat combined with the fatty cheese and the white buns make a cholesterol parade in your blood stream that gives you endorphins that make you happy when you eat it Something about that combination, seems to give our bodies a buzz They were explaining that THAT S why cheeseburgers and Mcdonald s in particular are so damn popular They re addictive foods because we get addicted to the buzz of eating them.When it comes to reading, I m not much different Combine action sex supernatural and you may just have a readership I guess I m not the only one because publishers have jumped on this ship like it s the only one with booze and half naked young men and women grinding up against each other see I m trying to use subtle images to get you addicted to my reviews Is it working They must have been delighted when Frost walked in the door because her novel is pretty much the combination of sex, action and supernatural elements without ANYTHING else Most of the dialogue is about sex, arse kicking or discussing supernatural elements This book is a cheeseburger A big, greasy, delicious, ketchup covered cheeseburger.The sex orginates from Spike Bones and Cat, our main protagonist who is a half vampire Some other characters come into this story but they re not important because they re not having sex.They team up together to fight vampires They stab, decapitate, crush, kick, punch, tear, bite, shove and knife their way through every single encounter Kapowi See this is the action part of my review Settle yourself in bitches, because you re about to get addicted The vampires in this book can be good or bad and their eyes glow green when they re using their Vampire Powers of Awesomeness TM They mesmerize their prey into obediance and take sips out of them There Bam You re now addicted Don t try to fight it, just give in and ride the pleasure wave So, I enjoyed it in the guilty pleasure way that you enjoy a cheeseburger while you re eating it Afterward though I felt vaguely dirty and lost Life was sadly lacking in sex, action and supernatural I went and kicked my husband in the head but to my IMMENSE surprise he didn t immedately tackle me and make love to me with blazing green eyes I must be doing something wrong The last part of the novel dragged a little bit until a vampire started throwing cars around because we can t possibly go thirty pages without someone bleeding out of one orplaces on their bodiesand then having sex While being a vampire.See, I TOTALLY understand why this book was recommended to me It s EXACTLY the kind of sexy, kinky shit I m into and I really enjoyed it so thanks but then I also recognize that this is a cheeseburger It was SUCH a cheeseburger that I started to feel cholesterol moving through my synapses and forming some brain version of diabetes Give it a go It was fun, flirty, dirty, and quick Oh my goodness, it sounds like a just described a hooker If I hadn t kept thinking to myself, Damn you, Frost Stop baiting me with supernatural smoochies then I would have been able to enjoy itfor what it is Junk Food Fiction.Just remember, Kids Junk Food Fiction is a SOMETIMES read Calling all Spikeaholics Warning Warning Sexual content abounds This book is the perfect fit to fill the Buffy sized hole in my heart.Cat is a part vamp part human, super strength, vampire slaying goddess with eyes that glow green when she gets riled up She has been slaying since the age of 16 Bones is her sleek and sexy, bleach blonde, British vampire sidekick who also slays vampires for kicks And for the bounty Together they form a kick ass team who love to heat things up on the dance f Calling all Spikeaholics Warning Warning Sexual content abounds This book is the perfect fit to fill the Buffy sized hole in my heart.Cat is a part vamp part human, super strength, vampire slaying goddess with eyes that glow green when she gets riled up She has been slaying since the age of 16 Bones is her sleek and sexy, bleach blonde, British vampire sidekick who also slays vampires for kicks And for the bounty Together they form a kick ass team who love to heat things up on the dance floor and in the bedroom.Buffy rip off much YES But if you expect that, it helps The absence of Buffy has really been playing on my psyche lately, so this was exactly what I needed If you go in expecting something original, you WILL be sorely disappointed.Just because it s a derivative, doesn t mean it can t be enjoyable Plus, I was in the mood for a snarky, mindless romp, which is exactly what this is I think mood will definitely have a huge effect on how you view this book.Gawd every time Bones spoke, I would start having to fan myself.I felt like I was having hot flashes Geez, why are my thighs all sweaty If you ve read any of my Fever reviews notably Faefever or Dreamfever , you probably know that I can go a bit overboard with the love for my favorite male characters Bones is no exception.Bones is what you would get if you mixed together two of my favorite things soot covered half naked firefighters and rocky road ice cream Burning hot, dirty deliciousness.DAMN Wish I had a visual aid for that one Hmmm, in fact I would gladly hand over a million dollar bill for such a picture He had me so sexually frustrated in the first half of the book that I was pulling out all my hair I m pretty much down to my LAST eyebrow now.And yes, I look exactly like that.Part of my problem was that I wanted it to keep going with that much intensity But halfway through the book, they are already getting it on Not that it wasn t good, but I would have liked a littletease I wanted the to be tortured with it But I m weird like that.So technically, Cat is not a virgin but in the beginning she acts like one She s very virginal And at first, she blushes every time he says anything to her.And she s 22 and getting ragged on for staying out all night once I can t stand her mom or her grandparents Get the EFF over yourselves I can barely justify giving this book four stars, but I decided that three would be too few That doesn t mean that I didn t love it.I feel like I just need to add that unlike the Fever series where I loved Mac and cared deeply about the things happening to her, I really didn t care at all about the plot of this book or really even that much about the main character The only thing that kept me going was the relationship between the Bones and Cat, so I really hope that this changes in the sequels.So obviously, I did love Bones no really But that s the main problem He made this book for me If you take him out, this book is two stars, maybe The rest of the story and the main character were not all that captivating Cat is NO Buffy, though she tries to be Although, I did find this artwork It s supposed to be Buffy and Spike but it makes me think of Cat and Bones This is your typical vampire slayin and vampire layin book Besides the green glowy eyes that the vampires have, there isn t alot here that you wont find in another vamp romance, except for Bones He makes it sooo worth it.Regardless of it s flaws, it s definitely a SUPERnatural fun ride And really hot to boot.Oh Bones sigh Oh Bones, oh BONES smacks the desk with both hands Trust me With Bones you wouldn t have to fake it 5 Hallo Kitten StarsFirst read 2 20 2014Reread 11 19 2015Re re read 11 11 2019 Spoilers Is that a stake, Bones, or are you just happy with my new dress Cat Maybe he knew Maybe on some deep, deep level, he could sense I was evil I wish I hadn t been born this way I wish I hadn t been born at all CatMy God I love this series I loved this book the first time I read it and I love itnow Night Huntress series is one of my all time favorites, and after years of reading it s still on 5 Hallo Kitten StarsFirst read 2 20 2014Reread 11 19 2015Re re read 11 11 2019 Spoilers Is that a stake, Bones, or are you just happy with my new dress Cat Maybe he knew Maybe on some deep, deep level, he could sense I was evil I wish I hadn t been born this way I wish I hadn t been born at all CatMy God I love this series I loved this book the first time I read it and I love itnow Night Huntress series is one of my all time favorites, and after years of reading it s still one of the best series I have ever read God but I love me some Bones and Cat They are my favorite book couple ever I ve wanted you from the moment we met, and if you think sitting next to me in your bra doesn t overwhelm me with desire, you re very wrong I just don t force myself where I m not invited Bones Charlie whistled Amazing Grace as he drove It was all I could do not to whip my head around and snap, Are you kidding me Couldn t he pick somethingappropriate, like Shout at the Devil or Don t Fear the Reaper Some people had no sense of the proper music for a kidnapping Cat What this book is aboutCat hunts vampires She has since she was 16 That was the day her mom told her where she came from That her father was a vampire that date raped her mother Having grown up with all kinds of weird abilities, Cat never fit in Then her mom told her all the time that she came from evil, that evil lived in her, and all vampires are evil murderers Cat went out every weekend picking up vampires Killing every vampire she picked up so that maybe then her mom would forgive her for the way she was born One weekend she bit offthen she could chew when she went up to a blonde vampire Bones When she leaves with him, things don t go as planned and before she knows it she has been knocked out and chained to a cave with said vampire asking her who she works for When she tells him her story, that she is half vamp and what her father did, he offers her a deal Help him hunt vampires, as bait, and not only does she get to kill vampires with back up, but he will help her find and kill her father Cat jumped on that deal As her and Bones hunt they uncover a vampire sex, and blood slave ring Will Cat ever let go of her vampire prejudice, and see that there are good and bad in both vampires and humans, or will she let her prejudice cost many lives maybe her own Can Cat and Bones stop the bad vampires from killing anyyoung women I ve been scared for you since I found out I was pregnant, she went on The lights were off, but I didn t need them to see the tension in her face From the day you were born, you looked just like your father Then each day after that, I watched your abnormalities grow as you did Soon you ll leave, and I won t be there to watch over you any You ll have only yourself to make sure you don t become like the monster who sired you You can t let that happen Finish school, get your degree Move out of town, make some friends, it ll be good for you Just be careful Don t ever forget you re not like everyone else They don t have evil in them trying to break out like you do Cat s mom Justina My Bones Bones is oh so yummy He is so sexy my panties melted Damn that vampire got me hot The things that vamps says Mmmm Damn He showed Cat that it s not being a vampire that makes a person evil, it s their heart He loved Cat, all of her just for who she was, not even her mom did that He kicked so much ass and embodied everything a vampire is suppose to be I can t sing enough praises for Bones He was smart, sweet, sexy, badass, brave, and caring Why Bones Why aren t you real God but I wanna jump his bones lol I love that you did it to protect me, but next time, try aiming to wound, hmm You know, maybe throw the knives at someone s head instead Then they re incapacitated momentarily, but not reduced to a pile of rotting remains Just food for thought Bones I can t stand to see you do this to yourself I regarded him with wariness Do what Continue to punish yourself for your father s sins, he replied steadily How long are you supposed to pay for them How many vampires do you have to kill until you and your mum are squared You re one of the bravest people I ve ever met, yet you re scared to death of your own mum Don t you realize It s not me you re hiding in a closet it s yourself Bones I know what you re thinking and you re wrong This isn t goodbye, Kitten I didn t survive over two hundred years to find you only to lose you within five months I want you, but I m not saying goodbye to you, because we will get through this BonesMy Cat I so have a girl crush on Cat I loved her every bit as much as Bones Her mom treated her like it was her fault she was born out of a rape, and that she was evil Cat never knew true love She hated herself, but she still cared deeply for others She tried to do right She wanted to help and save others so they wouldn t end up like her mom I could understand why Cat felt the way she did and her actions She felt very real to me Even having the life she had she was still an awesome person She was brave, strong willed, sassy, smart, and straight badass I m saying I m a moody, insecure, narrow minded, jealous, borderline homicidal bitch, and I want you to promise me that you re okay with that, because it s who I am and you re what I need I missed you every minute this week and I don t want to spend another day without you If my mother disowns me for being with a vampire, then that s her decision, but I ve made mine, and I won t apologize or back down from it Cat I want you to know that despite everything, I m so glad I met you, I choked out It was the luckiest day of my life If I hadn t, I never would have known what it was like for someone to love me, all of me, even the parts I hated I would have gone through life empty and guilt ridden, but you showed me a whole new world, Bones I ll never be able to thank you for all you ve done for me, but I will love you every day until I die Cat You are going to wash your mouth out If you kiss me, I don t want a face full of hepatitis Cat Lucifer s bouncing balls, Kitten, not again Uh oh I squirmed, instinctively also trying to block Tony s body from his view As if that made him any less dead She was going to stab you, I said in my defense Look in her hand He was looking at the ground near my feet instead Him, too I nodded, sheepish He jumped me Bones just stared You re not a woman, he said finally You re the Grim Reaper with red hair Bones and CatThis book s pace was great It doesn t matter how many times I read it, once I start I can t put it down Cat and Bones together are explosively hot The book really built up their relationship They are one badass vampire hunting team Their love feels real, and tangible I couldn t help but fall in love with both of them I fucking hate her mother Justina treated her daughter like shit Justina made Cat pay for her fathers sins over and over, never accepting her and loving her Jeaniene Frost did a great job of building the paranormal world in this series I had a great understand of the undead world and never felt lost The plot was action packed There was blood, guts, spit, and ass everywhere Towards the end there is a awesome fight where Cat and Bones are just handing everyone their asses This book had it all It made me laugh, smile, swoon, jump up and down in excitement, and cry There is no HEA in the end it is a to be continued And the ending OMG That s right, luv Softly, but with unyielding resonance If you run from me, I ll chase you And I ll find you Bones I will never stop loving you No one can change that No matter what happens later, I ll still love you Cat